Dear Reader. Have you ever asked yourself “what is wrong with me?”
I find myself questioning my behaviors as of late. Daily I find myself saying some words I regret, or burdening someone I love deeply, or simply being a person I don’t even know. What is wrong with me, dear Reader?
But a moment ago I became a stranger to myself again. Grace and I share a textbook in one of our college classes, and I had procrastinated to the last minute and was now in need of the book. My darling sister was in bed (as a good student should be on a school night,) however I could not find that book. (If truth was to be told, I barely even searched for it. But naturally, I assumed it would take far too much energy to actually seek any object out.) I went to the stairs and impatiently called Grace’s name several times. When the poor, sleepy girl finally replied to my whines, I had lost my “great patience.” I asked her, with the most desperate cries I could muster, where “my” textbook was that she “took.” Grace replied slowly, and I was considering myself a great “victim” by this time. She answered that she had already placed it in her bag for classes in the morning. And, for some absurd reason, “this was more then I could bear.” I moaned with obnoxious frustration that I was going to use it and if she wanted it back in her bag, she would simply have to come and get it herself after I was done. I turned hurriedly to find my “stolen” book.
Then, dear Reader, I met the stranger.
I have always loved the verse, “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” To think, God loves us not because of any good we did or do. In fact, He loves us even during our sins. Another favorite verse of mine is, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”
How incredibly thankful I am God loves me, even when I loathe myself.
Dear Reader. We have all asked ourselves the question, “What is wrong with me?” And I am certain there is a long, doctrinal answer for that which can be discussed and debated. :) But for now, I am swelling with pleasure in the knowledge that God’s grace and love is sufficient for us, for His power is made perfect in our weakness.
ps. The following images were taken when Grace and I lived in England when we were little. I hope you enjoy!
Grace and I holding hands---- a habit we have never changed. :)
Grace and I in our frily dresses which I remember distinctly Grace did NOT like and I loved.
Grace and I smiling away as we played countless for hours and always remaining close by each other's side. <3
I love this post. I completely understand the whole stranger thing - like whoa, where in the world did THAT come from? It stinks living with a sin nature, but thank God for sanctification. Which we all know about from worldview ;)
ReplyDeleteLove you Katherine.